mid-light                                        retro-bustier1

  Hi girls!  Well, I said I’d get to fashion tips one day…  Such a steady and deep stream of women’s clothing catalogues flows through our mailbox that it would be impossible for me not to have honed a related set of skills.  Read what follows, but don’t tell your mother what I’m up to.  I’m pretty sure that she wouldn’t be interested.  Your brother will understand.

  The girl on the right (Victoria’s Secret – ‘Beach Sexy’ Collection) is real nice, I’m sure.  And I too would do just about anything within reason for the bucket of shekels she probably takes away for her efforts.  Nonetheless, she looks like something you’d see in a window in Amsterdam.  Why else would the company sell their undergarments in multiples?  The only point that comes across has to do with something one is born knowing how to do even if it does take some number of years to rev up.

  The girl on the left (Patagonia Spring 2009) is nearly atop the most famous boulder problem in the whole world.  It’s called Midnight Lightening and is in Yosemite National Park.  It was attempted many times when I was hanging out in the Valley, but was not climbed until the year after my last serious visit (1978).  Once she presses up, she will be past the crux of the extremely difficult (5.13b) forty foot route.  Gently holding both lips between her teeth (opposite of the pout on right) and not setting her jaw, she makes it look easy.

  That photo and shots like it in other catalogues and depicting other sports make me remember stuff like: the fact that your mother could throw the softball farther than I could in grade school and still is a much better skier; the girls state tennis tournaments; the Big 10 Women’s Soccer Tournament; climbing with you; and climbing in Yosemite myself.  

  Only after all that does it dawn on me that the girl is cute.  Uh, for her age.  And realize that since she’s obviously not a hack (to the contrary, world class) she must be particular about the quality of her gear.  It has to be comfortable and move with her.  She’s not getting paid so it’s gotta last.

  The cover of the Title Nine catalogue sitting on the kitchen table just now has an attractive woman in a bathing suit holding her surfboard and young son.  Thus we can see that she was able to convey a thought similar to that on the mind the young lady above right without, well, having to resort to skankitude.

  Finally, in the spring Athleta catalogue there are some attractive running outfits.  The caption for one reads: “Turn Every One of Your Runs INTO A SPECTATOR SPORT”.  The getup looks great and is not risqué, but that intent compels me to advise you to take care.

  You know that I never wear a shirt if it is anywhere near warm enough and certainly wouldn’t begrudge women any opportunity for ventilation and vitamin D.  Furthermore, I won’t ask you to consider a habit or burqua.   However, in the case of clothing, less is not necessarily more*.  Unless you’re chumming for sharks and ok with the ensuing mindless frenzy, remember that form should follow function*. 

* I paraphrased architects Mies van der Rohe and Louis Sullivan so that your brother wouldn’t feel left out of the discussion.

**Left photo by Rich Wheater:  Check out his site.

One Response to “FASHION TIPS”

  1. andrew Says:

    I just “accidentally” walked down one of the infamous girls in windows streets of Amsterdam and find myself wondering more about the girls backgrounds than any thing else. Why are they doing that and why are they there? Another Sullivan quote applies – “form ever follows function”. So if your function is to stand in a window in Amsterdam, your form should follow, and people will assume the opposite.

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