Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Thanks Bro!

August 7, 2009

  Few years ago I joined my wife at her artist-in-residency at the Buffalo National River near Jasper, Arkansas.  It is a spectacularly beautiful place.  And much wilder than I’d imagined.

Arkansas B

  Her lodging was an apartment above a remote stable used by the NPS to effect backcountry patrols.  One evening she heard a dog barking outside.  She loves dogs and having finished dinner went onto the balcony*  and threw out a few scraps for her visitor.  The moment she did so a bear rushed from the woods in contest.  It won.  Tough neighborhood.

  Our anniversary fell during our stay and so late that day we had a glass of wine and headed in town for dinner.  On the way I spotted a snake along the road and of course had to stop to investigate.  Didn’t take long to see that it was a rattler.  Timber Rattler.

  I quickly grabbed one of the ski poles we had in the back of the car and ran up to the snake before it could slither off the road into the bushes and away.  It wasn’t big on the idea, but couldn’t mount much of an offense because I kept it from coiling.

  After a short pas de deux, I had it draped over the pole and held it in the air to show off (umpteenth time – one day I’ll impress her…) for my bride.  “Get a little closer, stupid, so I can get a good picture” she said.

Arkansas snake

  While maneuvering about, I thought to myself that it seemed sort of sluggish, that I could probably safely grab it just behind its head and make it bare its fangs for the camera.  Dad taught us the procedure on a bull snake forty years ago and I’ve had lots of practice since, though never with a viper.  Indeed  pet bull snake Beulah was about the size of my new friend.

  Just as I began to choke up on the pole, a conversation I’d had with my MD brother came to mind.  While talking about Dad and snakes, he asked me to guess what the description of a typical snake bite victim might be.  I can’t remember if I guessed it or he told me, but the answer is “drunk white guy”.

  Had that memory not come up I’m sure I would have gone for it.  But not wanting to embarrass myself (also for the umpteenth time) I put it off to the side of the road and soon it disappeared.  We went on to have a fine evening.

  Upon return home I did a little research and found that Timber Rattlesnakes aren’t really all that venomous.  Given another chance I might give it a try.  I am 100% certain that my brother would agree that our father would not have hesitated.   He’d have been 82 today.

*From which was taken the photo above.

**Recent research (WSJ 5/12/09) indicates that those scary snakebite kits – complete with razor blade and suction device – might not be the way to go.  The trauma wrought by the incision does more harm than good and an application of suction by itself is ineffective.  Get bit by a snake just head to the ER ASAP.

Canvas Cover for a Soul

July 10, 2009

 Yurt door 010

   The aforementioned yurt serves as divine studio space for my potter wife.  It replaces a cold wet cryptish corner off our basement which made a cell at Guantanamo something for which to yearn.

  Development of that transmigration required more than a few days and much ideation.  First thought was a familiar exercise in rectilinearity set akimbo in our front yard.  Then an appendage also in front.  Then she considered the expansion of the existing dingy cellar.

  Somehow the tent-like structure more common on the steppes of Central Asia came into her consciousness and she quickly concluded that yurt it would be.  (Well, she and the dog…)

  It is wonderful, even from this visitor’s perspective.  Its shape and nature fit organically on the side of the ravine in back of our house.  It looks almost to have grown there.

  We’re in the middle of town and abut an interstate.  Even so, from within looking out, all that can be seen is green.  Work started after woods leafed out, and thus I’ll bet neighbors (not far) across the way won’t have seen it till fall.

  It really is neat, made all the more special by being a few paces away from the house.  Going from one to the other in the rain you’ll get a bit wet.  Perfect.  Forces awareness of one’s place in the universe.

  To this philistine, it seems also perfect for the artist. Entering, it’s like stepping into a cloud with the world left far behind.*  I can’t wait to see where it takes her.

  Reminds me of some of Tadao Ando’s work in which sun, wind, and clouds are design elements.  His Azuma house, with which he first gained recognition similarly forced residents to interact with nature. 

  Contrast these to the emphasis on surface gloss found all too often in new additions to the built environment both public and private.  Lipstick might look nice, but it doesn’t necessarily tell much about the pucker.  Know what I mean?

  Anyway, this arrangement of site, structures, and stuff combine at night to make a softly glowing spot for wife to consider what another potter called “The Mud-Pie Dilema”**.

Yurt door 005

  More later. 

*Speaking of which – you should hear what heavy rain sounds like therein.  No need for thunder!

**The Mud-Pie Dilemma: A Master Potter’s Struggle to Make Art and Ends Meet by John Nance

Spirit of Place

July 3, 2009

  lawn

  Ok.  I’m just about ready to rest my case.  I’ve written several times of the special beauty of my lawn.  The photo above ought to put all doubts to rest.  Representative of a good part of my small plot is that arrangement of several grasses, flowered clover, yellow oxalis, and wild strawberries. 

  Most people spend untold hours in the cultivation of their yards, but end up with only blade after boring blade of the same dang thing.  I spend as little time as possible and, well, results speak for themselves. 

  As opposed to most, I don’t attempt to inflict my own narrow opinion of what it should look like upon the earth.  Instead, I endeavor to create a condition in which such subtle wonder can unfold of its own accord.  Believe it or not, I planted virtually none of what you see above.

  What is more is that those colors are nearly perfect counterpoint for the string of Tibetan prayer flags strung across my roof high above.  It is said that with each flutter of every panel a prayer is repeated. They are nearly always moving.

Prayer Flags 010

  Perhaps that’s how the character of my lawn developed, having not always been so.  Only several years after the death of a brother (in whose memory I connected our chimney and roof vent pipe with the red, blue, green, white, and yellow squares) did things begin to change.  Or at least to my notice.

  It was imperceptible at first.  Then we had several seasons and several families of ducks that made home in front of our house.  And elsewhere coons and deer and cats and dogs and varieties of rodents wild and domesticated.  Five tree houses and now a yurt.  Once, while digging a hole for a fence post I found an ancient stone hatchet head.

yurt 1

  The prayer flags eventually wear out and I replace them with new crisp colors covered with tiny uchen letters.  It is somehow comforting to watch them waft in the breeze.  (Even though some folks ask just why we have our laundry line way up there in the encircling crown of maple and ash!)

  We’ve been here thirty + years and I absolutely don’t mean to say that I’ve things just the way I want them.  Yes, I trim and fertilize from time to time, but that’s just so these particular emergent rhythms don’t dampen.

  DH Lawrence wrote that “Different places on the face of the earth have different vital effluence, different vibration, different chemical exhalation, different polarity with different stars: call it what you like.  But the spirit of place is a great reality.”*

  We’re all – flora, fauna, parents, and children – deeply imbued with the great reality of the spirit of our contorted tiny bit of the planet.

*Speaking of Lawrence, it may be obvious, but I’m also trying to make sure that the gamekeeper my wife runs off with is me…

Carpe Diem? Huh? And Then What?

May 22, 2009

Andrew grad Franklin field 09 

  Carpe Diem seems like the most natural and obvious of exhortations to shout at a graduation.  Seize the day.  Certainly, commencement exercises must constitute a major point of transition (fulcrum hopefully) for most participants.  But “hurry up and get on with your life” is probably not the best advice for a young broadly educated mind.

  Graduation ceremonies should always be powerful experiences for all attendees and the aforementioned such was no exception.  As the students and faculty began to file in the orchestra began to play and the trickle soon became a swarm.  I first thought back to graduations past until I noticed that tears had welled up in the eyes of both sisters as brother came into view.  Wife choked a bit, and well, me to.

   Made me think of brain science and what it can and cannot explain.  We have what have been called mirror neurons.  A set of neurons fires when you do something.  Mirror neurons fire when you observe somebody do that thing.  Researcher V.S. Ramachandran calls them “Ghandi” neurons because “they’re dissolving the barriers between you and me”.*

  That’s neat and interesting, but incomplete.  Other researchers have shown that phenomena related to consciousness can be observed, measured etc, but not consciousness itself.  Some think it a matter of time till it is seen how thoughts emerge from the brain, but none do now.

    As I’ve said above, while it may well be understood one day, I do not believe it will be found to be a sum of the parts sort of thing.  Stuart Kauffman again: “Whatever its source, consciousness in emergent and a real feature of the universe…. These phenomena, then, appear to be partially beyond natural law itself.”

  It is much easier for me to consider tenderness amongst siblings with that observation in mind than, say, mirror neurons.  We are more than the sum of the parts.

  While in Philadelphia I saw one of the two of Galileo’s telescopes known to be still in existence.  Fascinating to look at and think about.  They got him into trouble.  Not so much for debunking heliocentrism as for challenging the then prevalent western world view that spirituality was the only source of knowledge.    

  In her remarks the wonderfully enthusiastic Penn President Amy Gutman told those in cap and gown that their toughest challenge would be to find: “What matters most to me?”.  Not an easy question for most to answer, but indeed perhaps the most important.  I’d add that it is probably be just as important to learn to live in that question.  If you carpe diem with questions answers will follow.

Andrew grad Myerson 09

   That’s what Galileo did.  “It [the earth, not the sun] moves” he told the Pope and was placed under house arrest for blasphemy. He continued wide ranging research for the next ten years until his death investigating the speed of light and the nature of tides among other things.  Very significantly,  he developed the basic principle of relativity.

   Einstein wrote: “Pure logical thinking cannot yield us any knowledge of the empirical world; all knowledge of reality starts from experience and ends in it.  Propositions arrived at by purely logical means are completely empty as regards reality.  Because Galileo saw this, and particularly because he drummed it into the scientific world, he is the father of modern physics – indeed of modern science altogether”.

  Or as Uncle Ed helped translate from another tradition: “Whatever you see is a reflection of your own mind.  The essence of mind has, from the very beginning, has been free of conceptual limitations.  Having recognized this truth, free your mind from grasping at phenomena and clinging to thought…”**

Andrew Board spring 09

*New Yorker May 11, 2009: Profiles

**Path of the Bodhisattva, Vimala Publishing

***Hint: Above image is not through a telescope, has not really yet been seen in 3D, but is indeed way out there and has not been seen before.

My Name Is Nobody

May 15, 2009

Road trip. Mind can’t help but wander. Remember in college I took a seminar entitled “Literature of the Trip”. Started with Odysseus. Modern era was ushered in by Kerouac and On The Road which was an exploration of the newly unlimited freedoms of the American Dream. Here in the US, we emerged from WWII with comparatively unscathed success and with the west also won continental ontological parameters disappeared and a search for new meaning began.

It was the ‘Beats’ who led the quest. I’d long thought that the term related to a musical concept. However, upon reading background notes to Kerouac’s second book I learned otherwise. First it was a term employed to relate a sort of “exalted exhaustion” and then in reference to a Catholic vision of beatitude. Evolution of etymology is interesting, isn’t it?

Jung wrote that “The more a man’s life is shaped by the collective norm, the greater is his individual immorality”. The collective norm doesn’t point the way ahead. It obviously aggressively reinforces the status quo. Or worse, to a banal evil. Kerouac was the perfect sort of person to break new ground. Among other factors attenuating any rootedness was the fact that he was French Canadian and English was his second language.

Makes me think of the current Hispanic diaspora. To me it’s heroic. Operatic even. The struggle of those forging north, setting out for the territory ahead, Tom Joad like is only a current example of an innate capacity for adventure that lies dormant in a dominant culture. At least in 3D. I say more power to them. Poetic justice for us.

Kerouac and other artists of his time didn’t end well for the most part. Forward scouts often end up carrion by some means or other. Boredom at the end of the journey often led to substance abuse, suicide etc. After their return George Rogers Clark went on to great things, but Merriwether Lewis self destructed…

This here road trip is for a graduation and the ensuing second stage in the diaspora of our family. Some of the same stuff applies. Hunger, a new skill set, and a sense of adventure seem, in this case, to point over the western horizon.

Grandma’s along for this trip. She’s made it to eighty-one without any stripped gears even though having traversed some difficult terrain and uncivilized territory. Perhaps she will offer up her perspective on how to find one’s way through unfamiliar territory.

Dog Is My Co-Pilot

May 8, 2009

sauger mirror

Dogs aren’t impressed by large vocabularies or fancy philosophizing.  They’re experts on nonverbal communication.  They catalyze mindfulness of the way things are and prevent one from being forever lost in thought.  They present the universe in a canine microcosm to young children with whom they form special bonds.

Once, years ago, I was reading one of the Babysitters Club series to our oldest child.  Kristy and the Snobs. Met the family dog Louie early on and was engrossed in the narrative well enough that I didn’t pick up on the clue when Louie was limping and Kristy said “We’ll tell Mom, but it’s probably nothing” on page 7.

Next evening I read that “… last night he walked right into a table when he was aiming for me” and still didn’t get it.  But by chapter 12 “Louie was in bad shape” and I can remember thinking that “this is a kid’s book, this can’t be happening”.

It is often said and written that children’s books are the most difficult to write and that kids make for the most demanding of audiences.  Their books are comprised of sparse spare prose and a straightforward storyline.

More importantly, you can’t bullshit a kid.  One juvenile non-sequitur and it’s over, you’ve lost them.  They’ll yawn and/or interrupt and interest completely lost, you’ll have to start something new next time.

Not coincidentally, in Children’s Experience with Death author Rose Zeligs maintains that “You cannot ever fool a child.  He is closer to the deep inborn collective unconscious and senses any default in … dallying with the truth.  No matter what the seriousness and shock the truth may invoke, the child must not lose trust in those who attempt to serve him, be they parents or professionals…”

The momentum of this particular story soon became relentless and I started to worry how I was going to handle it.  It was not easy.  Louie was old.  He had accidents of all sorts.  Poor eyesight combined with a bit of confusion led to his tumbling down the basement stairs.

Mom took Louie to the vet who said that he “was deteriorating rapidly (translated into regular speech that meant ‘getting worse fast’)”.  Chapter 12 ended with an ominous recommendation by Dr. Smith.

Not far into chapter 13:

“The receptionist called Mom’s name then, and she stood up.  David Michael and I gave Louie last pats and kisses, and then Mom disappeared down the little hallway.  When she came back a few minutes later, her arms were empty…”

Child psychologist Zeligs also wrote that: “Being closer to the earth and sky [the rural child] learns to accept death as part of life’s rhythms”.  Most children no longer live on farms and not all have pets.  The arts can help touch the earth.  Scientist Stuart Kauffman (who I introduced in my last post) wrote that Shakespeare is just as important as Einstein. I quite agree.

We had zillions of those Babysitter Club books around the house.  They all look the same and their titles are almost interchangeable. Unbelievably, perhaps, even so – two more times did I find myself lying in bed with a child and coming across Louie unprepared.  It never got easier.

I can’t wait to get home and pat our dog.  He’s twelve.

* FYI God Is My Co-Pilot is an autobiographical account by Col. Robert L. Scott of a life of flying in general and at the controls of a fighter over China in WWII.  It was a huge best seller when published in 1956, and is a great tale of ambition, determination, and bravery.  However, it has more recently been criticized for ethnic insensitivity.  “Japs”, “Huns”, “Darkies”, etc.

FASHION TIPS

March 13, 2009

          

         mid-light                                        retro-bustier1

  Hi girls!  Well, I said I’d get to fashion tips one day…  Such a steady and deep stream of women’s clothing catalogues flows through our mailbox that it would be impossible for me not to have honed a related set of skills.  Read what follows, but don’t tell your mother what I’m up to.  I’m pretty sure that she wouldn’t be interested.  Your brother will understand.

  The girl on the right (Victoria’s Secret – ‘Beach Sexy’ Collection) is real nice, I’m sure.  And I too would do just about anything within reason for the bucket of shekels she probably takes away for her efforts.  Nonetheless, she looks like something you’d see in a window in Amsterdam.  Why else would the company sell their undergarments in multiples?  The only point that comes across has to do with something one is born knowing how to do even if it does take some number of years to rev up.

  The girl on the left (Patagonia Spring 2009) is nearly atop the most famous boulder problem in the whole world.  It’s called Midnight Lightening and is in Yosemite National Park.  It was attempted many times when I was hanging out in the Valley, but was not climbed until the year after my last serious visit (1978).  Once she presses up, she will be past the crux of the extremely difficult (5.13b) forty foot route.  Gently holding both lips between her teeth (opposite of the pout on right) and not setting her jaw, she makes it look easy.

  That photo and shots like it in other catalogues and depicting other sports make me remember stuff like: the fact that your mother could throw the softball farther than I could in grade school and still is a much better skier; the girls state tennis tournaments; the Big 10 Women’s Soccer Tournament; climbing with you; and climbing in Yosemite myself.  

  Only after all that does it dawn on me that the girl is cute.  Uh, for her age.  And realize that since she’s obviously not a hack (to the contrary, world class) she must be particular about the quality of her gear.  It has to be comfortable and move with her.  She’s not getting paid so it’s gotta last.

  The cover of the Title Nine catalogue sitting on the kitchen table just now has an attractive woman in a bathing suit holding her surfboard and young son.  Thus we can see that she was able to convey a thought similar to that on the mind the young lady above right without, well, having to resort to skankitude.

  Finally, in the spring Athleta catalogue there are some attractive running outfits.  The caption for one reads: “Turn Every One of Your Runs INTO A SPECTATOR SPORT”.  The getup looks great and is not risqué, but that intent compels me to advise you to take care.

  You know that I never wear a shirt if it is anywhere near warm enough and certainly wouldn’t begrudge women any opportunity for ventilation and vitamin D.  Furthermore, I won’t ask you to consider a habit or burqua.   However, in the case of clothing, less is not necessarily more*.  Unless you’re chumming for sharks and ok with the ensuing mindless frenzy, remember that form should follow function*. 

* I paraphrased architects Mies van der Rohe and Louis Sullivan so that your brother wouldn’t feel left out of the discussion.

**Left photo by Rich Wheater: http://www.richwheater.com  Check out his site.

Heh, heh, heh…

February 20, 2009

  p4080042

  Not long ago (well I guess you can see when), I was seated at a table with a bunch of crusty old (and not so old) farts discussing an important community development project.  A lot of money was involved and so were therefore complexities, hidden agendas, and outright misguided prejudices.

  Sometimes during such meetings I work on needlepoint or origami as sorts of insurance policies.  They ensure that the time spent is not a total waste.  To be fair though – the measure is usually not necessary and often my own contribution amounts to little more than a stupid joke.

  Both needlepoint and origami bear certain similarities with an arcane subset of mountaineering called ‘bouldering’ which consists of short routes of extreme difficulty.  All demand intensely personal – essentially solitary – commitment and creativity to engender any hope of real success. 

  They also help sharpen ontological acuity.  Paradoxically, acts of concentration such as these awaken a broad and deep sense of awareness.  I actually did most of the bit you see above while visiting my brother for a week some months before he died of cancer.  I remember every stitch I made, breath he took, and drip from the roof during that uncharacteristically wet Marin February.   

  Anyway, during the above referenced meeting I could tell by their furtive glances that several of my colleagues were discomfited by my silent activity. 

  Several times Mr. Curmudgeon fired a question at me to check for my attention.  Reminded me of grade school when I was the best day dreamer in class and loved to look out the window while we were taking turns reading aloud.

  The teacher would break order and call on me because she figured my mind was elsewhere.  She was right of course, but alas for her wrong too.  I’d pick right up where the last had left off without losing a beat.  Heh, heh, heh. 

  I nailed Mr. C’s questions, but nonetheless later was asked, anonymously, to leave my “stitchery” at home or the office or wherever.  In the end, the series of meetings wound up with nothing solved and no real purpose served, but the above project found its first incarnation as the cover of a graduation present/address book.

  Heh, heh, heh. 

* Above L-R: Sun over surf; an Iowa farm; and mountains.

High Lands

February 6, 2009

0052 

  Daughter and I took lifts to the top of the ski area where we boarded a snow cat which took us up the ridge to a point where it narrowed and steepened.  We got off.

  After the drop off we began the hike up the ridge as it narrowed to a knife edge.  A sign read: “Hazards of back country skiing include death”.  Though wife and I had made this hike and ski descent before and though it is a far sight from the leading edge of this day’s temerity,  I had been sleepless the night before.

  To voluntarily enter a challenging environment with one of one’s progeny can only hope to be a healthy endeavor if accompanied by some degree of expertise, experience, and humility. And voluntary participation.  Kids are all adults now…

  Hiking in ski boots is not natural.  Hiking up a steep trail – actually only a succession of small slots kicked in the ice and frozen snow – focuses one’s attention.  Drop your skis and you’d never seen them again.  Slip, well, you get the picture.  The wind was blowing so fiercely that the contrails from my runny nose froze solid on the left lens of my shades. 

   We reached the top.  Rested a bit and considered best route of descent.  Couldn’t  see over the corniced ridge so to be safe skied down the shoulder a bit and then dropped in.  It was steep and cruddy.  Had to be athletic and assertive.  Perfect for #3.  She knew she’d be back to drop in from point zero.

   From the bottom of the bowl a short trip down a tortured trail to a cat walk and the lift took us to the summit lodge, her mother/my wife  (the real skier) and lunch.

  It is not hard to imagine how humans began to slide down frozen inclines and even began to perfect the activity.  Just watch kids in winter upon the most modest of slopes.  Thinking of kids, hundreds of years ago in Norway a child prince was spirited away from danger upon skis for some fifty kilometers.   Name of biggest cross country ski race in the states – Birkebiener – came therefrom.

  What is difficult for me to understand is how our evolution equipped us to seek, survive, and thrive in the steep cold environment.  Well maybe I can understand the seek part.   Without a thirst for adventure in at least part of the population we’d all still be starring into Olduvai Gorge.

  But the kinesthetic part I don’t get.  Such prowess must be an epiphenomenon related to swinging through a forest canopy.  Now to think of it, that does sound like fun.

  Clearly the huge ski industry is built upon a very wide range of athleticism.  Weighted toward the heavy end.  The fact that couch potatoes enjoy it is interesting.  The fact that a few seek out the steep quick and cold is fascinating. 

  Whatever.  The conviviality on top is a fine reward.  Humans are weird and I’m glad to be one.

004

From Iowa with Love

January 31, 2009

012

  The world looks different from a train.  When you’re driving you have to concentrate on what’s ahead. Keep your wits about you. It’s fatiguing.  You think in terms of starting point and destination.  Fuel and fast food.

  On a train you don’t look ahead unless you’re the engineer.  You look out to the side upon the world as it is.  No pavement, no bright lights.  Just now it’s dusk, January, and we’re crossing the Mississippi.  It’s frozen and covered with snow.  There are several bald eagles low over the small bit of open water still looking for something to eat.  I don’t envy them. 

  Now we are pulling through a small village and I’m reminded of Breughel’s winter scenes.  In those pictures you watch people interact and think about what their lives might have been like.  On a train, and in a museum, you can employ your mind to consider background, context, follow your thoughts wherever they might lead.  It looks cold out there.  I wonder if the people in that farmhouse are warm.  Do they have to go out and feed their livestock again tonight?     

  Train travel is also a kinesthetic experience.  Obviously one can rise and move about with much more ease than from the backseat or ‘the middle seat’.  On a train you become part of the swaying and the rhythms. At modest speeds it feels like a saunter on horseback.  Perhaps that’s why they’re called chemins de fer – paths of iron – in France.

  Certainly, road trips can be really great for extended conversation.  I’ve many, many very fond memories of being sealed in a vehicle with our whole family for hours on end. I’m sure my wife and kids would all agree those rides procured their own special sort of joy.  Back in the days before cell phones… 

  But kids are scattered to all four corners of the earth (well three) and I’m sitting across from their mother enjoying her company.  She’s sketching me which always sort of feels like, uhm, a homeopathic massage.  Makes me feel like daydreaming…

  “Everything conspired to make him sleep – the hasty metal gallop of the wheels, the hypnotic swoop of the silver telegraph wires, the occasional melancholy, reassuring moan of the steam whistle clearing their way, the drowsy metallic chatter of the couplings at each end of the corridor, the lullaby creak of the woodwork in the little room…” 

  “He looked down at the beautiful sleeping profile.  How innocent she looked, this girl from the Russian Secret Service – the lashes fringing the soft swell of the cheek, the lips parted and unaware, the long strand of hair that had strayed untidily across her forehead and that he wanted to brush back neatly to join the rest, the steady slow throb of the pulse in the offered neck…”*

obama-plate-0101

  Next morning we wake to the soft pink glow of first light upon the mountains.  All is quiet but for the clickity clack clickity clack.

Range after range of mountains
Year after year after year.
I am still in love**

  As we climb and draw near, lenticular clouds have formed and hover just above the ridge.  How do they hang there like that?

  Tunnel.

* From From Russia with Love by Ian Fleming

** Poem by Gary Snyder